fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am available for nakedness
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
