Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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