take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
