You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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