I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
