i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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