So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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