Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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