The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize