Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
