and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you never un-have a 4some
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
