EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize