my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
