Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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