Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
