"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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