I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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