so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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