No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
why is half of my head shaved?
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