how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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