this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
