there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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