OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
