I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
