last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
