she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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