He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Im part way to drunk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize