I'm gonna have a badass scar
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
