her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
