I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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