we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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