is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
