I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He passed out mid-signature
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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