my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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