This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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