"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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