I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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