It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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