Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
