I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
