You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
