did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
