But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
