I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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