It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize