Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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