Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
