Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
