I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
