I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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