How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
