sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he shaved USA in his pubs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
