help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
