Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
