is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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