We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
