I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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