her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
