Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
