you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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